Every day I languish in this personal hell.
I want to get out of myself,
and go anywhere else.
I’ve tried not to grumble,
not to get bitter.
And I failed.
I think and think, searching to find
the answers as to what
has happened to me and why,
but it is worthless -
I am allergic to my own thoughts!
They are plagued
with fears and doubts,
and my wretched understandings.
Surely they are my undoing!
I feel so
inadequate, so helpless,
oh Lord, when will it end? ?
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